Mare-ish!

Hello Friends,

I hope you’re finding ways to keep warm despite the snow and wind chill. In my experience, if I’m warm on the inside, I can handle the cold, which is why visiting 13 Hands is the perfect antidote to freezing temps.

Over the last few weeks, I’ve forged some new connections, and I’m eager to share them here. But first, a confession. For a long time, I held onto a narrative about mares which limited my perspective. When I was looking for a horse for my family over twenty-four years ago, I was advised to stay away from mares. “They’re moody,” friends cautioned. “They’re unpredictable and difficult,” my riding instructor insisted. As a rookie horse-owner-to-be, I followed their advice. I ended up with Ray, an incredibly loving and reliable gelding who lives forever in my heart. Zero regrets there.

However, it took me a long time to shed my wariness about mares. In our many years as trail wanderers, Ray and I enjoyed the company of geldings and mares, most of whom took really good care of their riders. But I do remember being just a little more alert to the mares’ potential behavior. After all, I’d been told they’d be more likely than geldings to lash out with a swift kick or a nasty bite if we got too close.

That never happened.

Now, all these years later, the voices warning me about mare-ish behaviors are finally fading for good, and I feel like I’m tuning into female energy in a different way. And what I’m finding is a soulful sensitivity that is very, very moving.

Take Winnie, for example. With a vibrant red coat, she arrived at 13 Hands just a few months ago, on a truck with her friend Andie, two very young girls in a high-energy herd. I can only imagine how overwhelming it was for them before they arrived–newly separated from their mothers, trying to make sense of the chaos. As she settled into the peace at 13 Hands, Winnie began to define her own mare-ishness. Now, with a calm confidence, she greets her humans in her paddock. She moves in gently for face rubs. She welcomes neck-scratches. And she readily offers the opportunity for open-hearted connection. A few minutes with Winnie yields more warmth than I ever could have imagined.

I also want to tell you about Maggie, a standard donkey who is due to give birth soon. Although she was shy when I first met her, Maggie’s confidence and trust are growing every day, and like Winnie, she is now embracing attention and affection. But more than that, like Winnie, Maggie invites the kind of connection that, well, warms you on the inside. Yesterday, when she rested her head on my chest, her breath was so soft and soothing. I could have stayed like that forever. It was not until I left her side that I realized my feet were frozen.

There are more girls I’m getting to know. Violet, a beautiful black mare, whose expression reflects a deep desire to be seen. Evie, Suki, and Cecelia, three mini-mares who epitomize the word gentle. And Jolie, a donkey whose bray-song is so loud and sweet it will make your heart vibrate.

I would never want to discount what many experienced horse people know. Mares can be subject to hormonal changes which result in tricky behaviors. But I want to celebrate what experienced horse people also know. Mares can be gentle, giant-hearted, loving, reliable partners who offer deep, unwavering, soul-warming connection. I like to think that’s really what mare-ish means.

Until next time,

Karen